DEAR MAMA

Can you still remember when I was still a first year high school student? It was during that time I started dreaming to be a honor student, I didn’t made it during the first grading right? But I made sure that I’m going to make it on the next grading, and yes I did! You were the first to know about it, I even hugged you in front of my schoolmates when I saw my name on the list. The next years you were shocked because I even made it better, I even can’t believed I made it too, all those busy stuffs at school, an artist at the same time a leader of different groups. But I disappointed you when I was a graduating student, I fell in love with the wrong guy and that made me placed in a condition wherein my chance of being a honor student is crucial, good thing you were close to God and it did not happened, instead of being the salutatorian I was the first honorable mention next to it. Then I went to college, I was one of the students running for cum laude but again I failed you because of the same reason, I fell in love with the wrong the guy. Despite the mistakes I made in my life you hugged though not physically but emotionally felt with your loving arms, it made me strong. Because of that I made sure that the family you have been fighting for will remain intact all this time. I know mama I have been so cruel for the past few months, I never tried to talk to you because I don’t want you to feel how disappointed I am of myself. Now, papa and I have issues that I can’t even understand how it all started, he ended up blaming you, I love him mama but I hate it when he starts blaming you of the things you didn’t even did, even once. Now, I am tired, tired of helping you keep our family together, sorry mama, can we have a break of all of this things that had been happening for years in our family? Or is this one thing that will make our family stronger? If it is, then I’ll continue to help you yet give me some time to understand few things and take a rest as well. I am turning 23 by October and I realize that growing up is never easy when you start to see things in a different way. I love you mama, although I hate you sometimes but I love you most of the time even if I don’t show it.

Love,

Your first born

PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT IN THIS EARTH

When I was still 3 years old, not sure if it’s the exact age, like my grandfather who works as a secretary in our Barangay hall, I wanted to work in an office. But everything changed when he gave me a notebook with a sample picture of each letter at the back of it, I can clearly remember that I drew an apple and colored it red, and I carried such talent until now. I love to draw, from cartoon characters to houses, I want to be a civil engineer or an architect but it turned out that my parents doesn’t want me to take up such professions even though they are both engineers. I ended taking up nursing, and I hate it, until now, honestly. It’s not easy, to take care of other people, to listen to their problems, physical, emotional, spiritual, social, at the end of the shift you drained almost all of your energy, sometimes you can’t have CR or meal breaks because your patient needs you than yourself. I always make noises about how hard it is to be a nurse but I never thought to resign, maybe because my patience is long or maybe I need the salary, a salary that is not enough, good thing I’m single and still living with my parents. I thought maybe thru my work I can tell and show my patients how great is God’s love that even people who is not a family member can take care of them, this is one of my personal mission. Second, I want to change how people will react with different situations in their lives specially those they think they can’t handle, as you can observe there is an increase rate of suicides, I was wondering if these people have a family, a true friend, or knows God, or maybe they are the type of people who doesn’t like to share their problems to anyone or who doesn’t value their lives. I had been judging people and I once judged myself, I thought I can’t handle my problems, I once attempted suicide good thing my grandfather came to save me and shared me words of wisdom, it’s all in the mind, like my grandfather I want to do my best to save the lives of suicidal people. And my third personal mission in this world is to become a wife of my boyfriend at the present and to be a mother of our future children, I want to show to my husband how much I love him, by staying with him forever. To my children, I will love them until my last breath, I will try my best to be a good parent, to make their lives different from mine, to make them feel that their mom is not just a mom but a best friend whom they can tell everything, I will try my best not to judge them until I hear the real story from them, to enhance their knowledge and skills by supporting them.